A year ago, my life changed.
Some cancer survivors consider their cancerversary the day they became “cancer free”. I consider mine today – the anniversary of when I was diagnosed – October 31, 2013.
I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember what I was wearing, that it was raining, and the way it felt when I was told I had cervical cancer. Some people may think it is weird to celebrate this – but I choose to celebrate how much has happened this year to me, both physically and mentally, and how I have overcome it.
I haven’t written on here since I was given the “all clear” in July. I wasn’t really sure what to write because I’ve had so many mixed emotions. I have a handful of partially written blog posts, but I never finished them. I am so lucky – I fought, and I won. I know I should just be happy about that. After I was told I was cancer free, part of me wanted to be rid of everything to do with cancer. Everyday I wonder if this is the day I won’t think about having cancer. But you never rid of it, even if you beat it – and there is nothing wrong with that.
Anyone who knows me knows I am pretty positive person – even through my sickness and treatment. What I have learned through my journey and in my “after cancer life” is that it is ok to be scared. It’s ok to cry on your bad days – I still have them. I constantly worry the cancer will come back. Every time my body feels off I get worried. I look at my scars everyday, and – especially lately – I have been feeling some side effects of my treatment. The after effects can be more emotional than being sick – cause you are just so done with it all. But c’est la vie en cancer. I still won. “When you face difficult times, know that challenges are not set to destroy you. They are sent to promote, increase and strengthen you.”
Something I never thought I would ever have to deal with at my age, I conquered. I am so grateful for that, and for all the love and support I have gotten this past year. That deserves to be celebrated – happy cancerversary to me!